Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Why I hate "Secret Invasion", Plus a review of Secret Invasion #5(of 8)

Well, this is it, no turning back. I am going to force myself to get through the final 4 issues of this crossover if it kills me(and it just might!). Before I dig in to this comic, I just want it known that I'm not just being cruel for cruelties sake. The entire Secret Invasion crossover is one of the most ill-conceived attempts at money grabbing I think I have ever seen Marvel put out(well, maybe with the exception of "Onslaught"...).

As a long time Marvel history buff, this story is just asinine. First of all, the Skrulls are a race of shape-shifters. They CAN'T duplicate powers. Yes, I know about Super-Skrull, but he was the exception to the rule. He originally gained his powers through extraneous experimentation and an interstellar beam. The Skrull emperor poured vast amounts of time and resources into the creation of a Super-Skrull, and even after all of that time, only one Super-Skrull was created. Like I said, I am a huge fan of the rich history of the Marvel Universe. I have spent vast amounts of time and resources reading, studying and enjoying the Marvel U.

Basically, over the past 2 years, Brian Bendis has rewritten the entire history of the Marvel U, by introducing the Illuminati, who are responsible for this damn Skrull invasion. Besides the Illuminati and Bendis' utter disregard/disrespect for the work of writers who have come before him, the thing that pisses me off the most about this "Secret Invasion" is the fact that there aren't enough Goddamn Skrulls left in the universe to launch a large scale invasion on another planet, let alone another galaxy!

The Skrull throneworld was devoured by Galactus a while back, which threw the Skrulls into years of in-fighting and general chaos, and the Annihilation Wave fractured the Skrull race even further. The war with Annihilus cost the Skrulls thousands(millions?) of lives and several planets. That took place less than THREE years ago! Are you going to tell me in that short amount of time, the Skrulls were able to develop the ability to duplicate other beings super-human powers, deeply infiltrate the super-human population of the Earth, and organize and then authorize a large scale attack on the Earth?!?! Even for a frigging comic book that is totally unbelievable!

So, you are now sitting back, thinking "If he hates this crossover so much, why the hell is he reading it?". I guess the only answer I can give is that no matter how much Bendis f###s up the history of the Marvel Universe and destroys its characters, I still consider myself a fan of the Marvel Universe. No matter how much I hate the way things are playing out in the Marvel U right now, I will continue to read, because I am still a fan... Just a VERY dissatisfied one.

Overall- This comic was the same as every other comic book Brian Bendis has ever written. It was the same as any issue of Ultimate Spider-Man. People stood around, and everybody just continuously chattered on and on over one another. The main story points were that Director Brand of S.W.O.R.D. has rescued Reed Richards, and Reed managed to develop a ray gun that revealed who the Skrulls really were. Reed and Brand landed in the Savage Land, where the Avengers and their Skrull impostors were, and the Reed revealed the Skrulls to the heroes. The Avengers wiped out the Skrulls and decided to counter attack.

Besides that, the Skrulls tried to convince humanity that they meant no harm, and Nick Fury stood around and yelled alot. That is about as much time I am going to spend reviewing this crap. I'm sorry, but I just HATE this storyline so damn much... For a score, I'll go with a 2 out of 10, which really should surprise nobody.

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